Worthless people...Jeff Spangler

Today, my personal hero David Beach, let me know that our sweet furbace Zeke, passed away. Once again, my heart is broken - we lost Susie last year. David had stepped up and gave both Suzie and Zeke a loving home when my worthless husband Jeff Spangler, abandoned us for another woman - a married woman at that. All the while refusing to be intimate with me because he was too busy screwing his girlfriend while beating everyone he knew up with his Bible for not being good enough Christians. Beating me up with the Bible for wanting to be intimate with my husband telling me if I was a real Christian I wouldn't care about that kind of stuff. The same Jeff Spangler that I later learned had abandoned a sweet woman he had maried and never divorced. Told that poor woman one day that he was going to return some movies, then stole 500.00 from her, and she never saw him again. She had no idea if he was alive or dead for months since he refused to even have the guts to tell her he'd left her. The same Jeff Spangler that wrote 2 books (Tablespoons of God was one), telling others how they should live as Christians. Books that I had to edit and rewrite  because he can't write his way out of a paper bag. Books he paid to have published, then paid to have copies sent to him so he could pass them out while he was on the road as a truck driver...so he could show what a real Christian he was! Fraud. The same Jeff Spangler that drug us from church to church always finding some reason to stop going to a particular church when he couldn't get enough women interested in him. 

BUT....Payback is a real BITCH - the other woman refused to leave her husband for him...and after he'd had her name tatoo'd on his arm...dang! HAHA on him. 

I blame him for my sweet furfaces being lost to me and I blame him for Suzie's death. I hope he gets everything he deserves and I can bet this BIG Christian, this gutless liar, cheat, fraud is going to have some nasty surprises when he faces his maker.

Alone in Cyber Space

Longing for some type of life that included actual, living persons, I joined a dating site about 6 months ago. Since then I have removed my profile, put it back, removed it again. Dating at 61 - or 51 for that matter - seems to be insanity; yet I am so tired of living in isolation and having long conversations with my dogs. Not that I don't adore my dogs...

Of course, not being able to drive has limited my social interactions. I simply can't afford to pay Uber every time I want to go somewhere, so I sit at home a great deal of the time. I order things online that I could buy at a local store, but shipping is less costly than paying a cab or Uber. In short, I live the life that use to be science fiction on programs like the Twilight Zone and Star Trek.

There are so many others out here in cyber land that are living the same life...it's a sad commentary on what we have become as a society. People who really do live lives of quiet desperation, alone and lonely. Trying desperately to make a connection without leaving their computer desks.

And it's scary out there! Who really knows what or who is on the other side of their screens? After all, it is the perfect place to pretend to be something you're not; someone you'd like to be and lying is so easy! Who's going to know? Women and men walk a very fine line between their safety and taking the dangerous chance of meeting a stranger in person.No matter how long you've chatted, you really never know for sure what may walk through the door....

But loneliness is a hard land to live in. It can make you do stupid things, make dangerous decisions. Most people are fortunate and live - but we all know the stories of those who didn't make it. Who met the monster in sheep's clothing and where eaten by the wolf. 

So we must decide who's the wolf before the attack - and that means to really listen to your intuition and run when it starts to sound the alarm. We are so reluctant to listen, to offend someone that makes us uncomfortable, that we often do not listen to that small voice that tells us, "there's something not right here".

I always listen to that voice and it has saved me more than once...but, it is my nature to naturally distrust people. This little personality quirk has served me well - most of the time. Thankfully, the few times I didn't listen, the situation wasn't life and death and I've come away with just a heart broken.

Tell yourself and your friends to listen to that small voice...it can read signs you don't see.

My Darlings...

Rain and drizzle all day, long, large thundering in the overcast sky. The only bright spot is my little Jack whose sweet face and soft eyes always undo me, melt my heart and cause me to smile. My little growler whose barks rattle my nerves, but how can you resist that face I wonder as I scold him yet again. How I adore my little man - and how I spoil him! LOL

My son's dog, darling Sookie, is no less spoiled. She is getting old and arthritis has caused her to slow and hop to get her back leg moving. Her joint supplements help, but I know that she will eventually be unable to continue to get around - and I dread the day. Since loosing my Bella, she has become even more dear to me.

My gold fish, part of a group of feeder fish I rescued from being eaten by a turtle we were sitting, have grown large, but unfortunately, one seems to be ill. I am hoping to move him to a tank by himself, but catching the little bugger has been impossible. I've added medication for sick fish, but I really want him separated from Curly and Moe... Yep, Curly, Larry & Moe. LOL

My Betta is named Felix... and he's a cutie, patootie. LOL

So, another day passes...

Globug

Early Morning...

It's before 7am and as usual I've been up for about 30 minutes. Nature calls and the furfaces must answer! Sookie wants breakfast more than bathroom, also usual. She's VERY food motivated! So, while a sweet, sweet dog, she will protect the "Great Giver of Food"...me! LOL No stranger will enter the premises until she has been kenneled and she still lets her displeasure be known by her growls and long "talks" about the unfairness of the situation. She is big enough to impress even the bravest of souls and the bars of her jail look awfully flimsy to the stranger. She also doesn't mind shaking the door of her kennel for greater effect...just to let people know that should she so desire, she can escape.

 

Jackie boy on the other hand will emit deafening barks and growls - from under the bed preferably. I have little doubt that if Sookie attacks, he'd be right behind her bringing up the rear - and would gladly run for help if necessary! His bark is definitely worse than his bite. By my, doesn't he sound impressive!

Well, coffee is done and the sky is growing light...sorta. Don't I hate daylight savings! But that's a whole nother story for some other time. 

Off to meet the day!

Globug

Jackie Boy...

My little Wal-Mart Special... All 30lbs of him.

You...

You are ruining my life
Every cup of coffee shared
It’s you I see
Every late night fantasy
Involves you

You are ruining my life
It’s your laugh I hear
It’s your invitation I want
This distraction is taking my chances
Your face replaces all others

You are ruining my life
Here at this crossroads
Of wanting more
Of needing arms around me
I try to move away from you

You are ruining my life
I snatch the phone, I dial your number
Needing the sound of your voice
To chase away the taste
Of another failed meeting

You are ruining my life
Here I am on the brink
Too afraid to confront the discontent
Coward, fool that I am
I need, I want the man who is ruining my life

Riches...

Doors opened to the breeze
Windows at half-mast
Air that is crisp and cool
Summer days just around the corner

Beds that need turning
Waiting for summer blooms
Buds an overnight explosion
As trees prepare their shade

Robins and crows make their incursions
Into a hostile war zone
Food bowl fiercely guarded
By a giant with teeth

Birds call and scream their definace
As her regal head is held high
She watches for the next attack
And growls her defiance at battles lost

I watch and smoke with ankles crossed
Drinking my coffee and smiling over the rim
These are the days to remember
Joy upon joy fills me

I am rich beyond measure
What more can this world offer
Than these quiet beauties
Than these glorious days

Sleepless...

We pursue sleep, frantic
Longing to grab and hold
To wrap tight fingers in it’s hair
And pull it close

We move, we roll
Arms and legs hanging
Heads tossed, covers moved
Rearranged in our torment

Sleep eludes us, laughs
Sneering grin at our desire
Just out of reach
Wanton, callus, sadistic

Almost like lust
Our desire, our longing
To be wrapped in sleep’s embrace
And there find release

Not in Love...

I am not in love with you
Of this, I am completely sure
And yet, I compare each conversation
Each voice and laugh
And find them wanting…

I am not in love with you
Days can pass that we don’t speak
And I only think of you
In fleeting moments, idle hours
Hardly worth mentioning…

I am not in love with you
There are no butterflies
Dancing in my chest, fluttering in my belly
No great longing
To feel your body in mine

I am not in love with you
Of this I am completely sure
Yet why this feeling of relief
That you have passed by
Without touching
Without lips meeting….

Because I am not in love with you
Because it is safe
Because I am not in love with you
Never to touch you
Because I am not in love with you
Never to miss you too much
Because I am not in love with you…

Off to See the Wizard….

I look in the mirror and sometimes (not so much lately), see the girl I use to be staring back. She has a look somewhere between terror and confusion, “What the HECK happened to my face?! Where are those perky boobies I use to be so proud of?!” AND my butt has moved to my hips! And it just gets worse from there…. sigh… moan…

Mirrors should be banned from any room where I might catch a glimpse of myself naked –  immediately!

Why, it was only yesterday that I was wearing tie-dye and bell bottoms! Long hair flying in the breeze. Tomorrow was years away and like Scarlet, fiddle-dee-dee, I’d worry about it tomorrow!
Hot? Heck, I can’t even stay warm….

So, here’s to all the girls and boys who find themselves staring into reality and seeing yesterday!
Glo

The White House and Other Institutions of Insanity….

I am amazed at the divisions our country is experiencing. I didn’t vote for Obama either time he ran. I didn’t riot, I didn’t loot, I didn’t set fires, and I didn’t destroy property because I was upset he won…although when he was reelected I became convinced that our country had gone insane.
The media and our leaders have destroyed the confidence we once had in our government. The very people we need to protect us, the police, are being killed because of the hate the media and our civic leaders are spreading. There is no longer any meeting of the minds or the right to think differently. We have become a country of hate filled, biased, whiners who think that everyone must be of the same opinion – or else!

Where is the country our brave men and women have fought and died for? Where is the country that thrived on diversity? Where are the morals, family values, the sense of right and wrong that us baby boomers grew up with? What happened to tolerance? What happened to work ethics? What happened to taking care of our own first? What happened to NOT supporting the countries that hate us and want to destroy us? What happened to common sense?

We have a president who has apologized to Iran, Saudi Arabia, etc., because in the past, we refused to support their policies and their obtaining nuclear weapons; which he has now agreed to. We have a president who is busy downsizing our military, letting our veterans go without the basic necessities of life in order to bring in more Syrian refugees – which we, the tax payer, are expected to support. These refugees are coming in breaking our laws, killing our people, and expecting to get everything for free – and sadly, they’re getting it – while our president and Hillary tell us that their religion is a religion of peace and that we must be more tolerant.

Our social security, which we American workers have paid into for all our working lives, is almost gone because it has been stolen by our government – and never make the mistake of thinking we will ever be repaid. And while the senate is giving themselves a nice, big raise while our SSI is getting almost nothing (I got a $2.00 per month raise), for the cost of living increases. Apparently $174,000 per year is just not enough to live on for them..

Thank the Lord that the people have spoken and said “enough”!

I have predicted for months that Obama was going to fight to keep his position – and he has already started… now calling for an investigation into Russia! I believe he will fight Trump taking office until he is forced out by the military – who have had enough of him too. I believe traitor Hillary will be right there with him in the fight. She too is a power hungry, lying, traitorous, nut job.